Friendships are supposed to make you feel included, valued, and supported. But sometimes, you might start feeling like an outsider in your own friend group—left out of plans, unheard in conversations, or just not as connected as you used to be.
It’s a tough and lonely feeling, but don’t worry, you’re not alone. If you’ve been wondering why this is happening and what you can do about it, here are five practical steps to help you navigate the situation.
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1. Think about why you feel like you don’t fit in. Is it because of differences in interests, values, or personality? Are there specific incidents or conversations that have made you feel this way?
All of you might’ve started off single, but now everyone is married except you. All of you might’ve started off living in flats, but others are now in their own duplex except you. All of you might’ve started drinking kaikai but…never mind.
Instead of staying around and feeling bad to the point of getting jealous or thinking evil, why not leave?
2. Don’t assume that everyone else fits in perfectly. Open up to the group about how you’re feeling, and ask if they’ve ever felt like outsiders too. This can help to create a sense of empathy and understanding and may even lead to some surprising confessions.
Ask for help if you can. If they always buy you fish and beer, do not suffer in silence while your tummy is getting big. You may be thinking you’re the only one feeling left out, but you may be shocked another person feels the same way too.
3. While you may not feel like you fit in with the group, you may find that you have strong connections with individual friends within the group. Focus on nurturing those relationships and finding common interests or activities you can enjoy together.
You must not be friends with your friend’s friends or join their group. You will be enjoying your friendship in peace, and they will invite you to join their social club with 500k annual due.
Can you afford it? So, it is better to stay in your lane and avoid putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. See you see HBP and chopping your business money in the name of belonging. We go laugh you ooo.
4. It’s okay to say no to social invitations or activities that don’t feel like a good fit for you. Prioritise your own needs and interests, and don’t feel like you need to participate in everything just to fit in.
If they are buying hair for 400k and you can only afford 150k, buy that one and use a nice scarf to style it. You know you don’t have money, but you will use money for your kid’s school fees to buy designer shoes and bags so your friendship circle will think you have arrived. Look at what you’re doing to yourself—Yamayama behaviour.
5. If you consistently feel like an outsider in your current friend group, it may be time to expand your social circle. You do not need to stay around people who bring you down emotionally and mentally all the time.
It is okay not to have the latest gadgets and grow at your own pace. If anybody doesn’t like it, pour them spit and move on!
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